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You choose your reaction. Or do you?

Our reactions control a lot in our lives, that’s why we should constantly work on them. The way we react to different life situations shows us our strong sides as well as our weakest ones.

Awareness in this sense basically means understanding of your own reactions and the ability to alter them when needed. Every single classification ( horoscopes, socionics, archetypes, psychotypes) is based solely on the different ways people react to stimuli from the outer world. Something you’ll simply just step over will make another person explode. And vice versa - something another person won’t even notice can leave you sleepless for a week.

Are you sure you know what exactly makes you lose it when it happens? Or if you’re aware of what flips your switch and “drags” you into a conflict or even a regular conversation? There are two kinds of people: the ones who avoid manipulations and the ones who are sure that they’re impossible to manipulate. And in the meantime dozens of important and not so much situations trigger you, me, us - everyone!

Someone says something - and you can’t help but react.

Someone does something meaningless and you’re ready to drop everything you were doing and fight the villain.

One sentence said out loud - and you’re rushing all the way across the city being involved in someone else’s plans.

What triggers me?

-that’s the question that you need to ask yourself as often as possible. What exactly just caused my emotional response? What exactly started this chain of my actions? Why is it that I can’t help but react?

Remember the rule: things we don’t know about ourselves control us. Which means that if you easily get provoked by the smallest things, if your “hooks” are right on the surface, if your behavior is far from flexible, then you are easily manipulated.


A lot of our reactions are our "quests"!

Some of them are lifelong quests - to work through those “hooks” and learn how to deal with them. For instance, the way we react to be broken up with, or people “always trying to humiliate” us, or the fact that others don’t really care about us. Or when our goals keep slipping away from us when we’re just one step away.

That’s exactly why it keeps happening over and over again. Even when your mind is quiet, but your heart and the whole body are actively protesting - it’s a reaction. And that’s a problem. Your problem. And you’re the only one who can solve it.

So what do you do?

Track your “hooks” and “triggers” and react unexpectedly next time. With calmness, acceptance. Or laughter! I often ask women: “Do you know what exactly is it that you do that makes your man happy or pissed off? Can you point out his triggers?” The vast majority of women have no idea what those are. I’m not even mentioning their inability to name their own triggers.

The more I’m learning about the human behavior, the clearer it gets to me that pointing those out isn’t that hard. All you need to do is watch - jot down your observations - check your conclusions. And watch more. Once you realize what triggers you, you can 1) save tons of energy and use it on something useful 2) save a lot of time that you used to spend following other people’s agenda 3) get amazing results in those aspects of life that are important for you!

Just the awareness of your quest's existence is a big and important step towards its completion. It gives you the remote to control your own life back to you. Awareness, observation, step-by-step correction.

And, here’s the good news - every reaction we work through makes us more and more powerful.

And raises you above all the “classifications”. Things that trigger us, the ones we react to, the ones we can’t just ignore, when certain words are said to us and we get upset, start getting defensive or even angry - is nothing but a signal that this is where our quest is hidden. Maybe it’s time for us to take a closer look, take a deep breath in and react differently.

And differently doesn’t always mean positive, lightly and with a smile. Sometimes differently means being strict, unapologetic and selfish.


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