How often do we put the remote controlling us in other people’s dirty hands? We let them affect our mood, feelings and thoughts. And in the meantime our inner strength, everyone is so eager to find, is sleeping like a baby somewhere deep inside of us.
And it won’t wake up until a person realizes that no-one and nothing has the ultimate power to make him upset, mad or hurt. No-one but him..or her.
Answer to yourself: who are you making responsible for your emotional state? The mood you’re in right now? Who’s to blame for you being sad? Bored? Scared? Hurt?
Who’s in your personal board of directors? People or circumstances?
Someone will say “Well it’s impossible to always control our emotions, we’re not robots after all!”. That would be a person who doesn’t know that:
the more unconventional is a person’s reaction to things happening in their life;
the less their reactions are impacted by the societal expectations;
the less instinctive and uncontrolled their reaction pattern is,
- the higher is their self-awareness level and the more options they have to choose from.
The higher your level of emotional self-control is, the less your inner state depends on outer factors.
Yes, it takes particular mental skills and daily thought monitoring.
Yes, for those who fall right into the unresourceful state just from hearing a certain song, smelling a scent or seeing an image it will be very challenging. During those moments your brain doesn’t function fully and you get stuck in that state so deep, not even a bulldozer can get you out of there.
Then here’s a way out - start with tracking yourself entering that state.
Brake those moments down into small pieces and find out:
What exactly gets to you?
Why does it cause your reaction?
What can help you not to get triggered?
Notice, track your triggers down and…freeze right before the point when you'd usually dive into that swamp. Grab the steering wheel in your hands, your life belongs to you after all! Not to your snobbish in-laws, not to your rude neighbor, not to all the bs happening in the world.
It's your life.
And you are to decide how to live it and what to feel.
Because between the stimulus and the reaction there’s always a choice. Always!