We all want something, there’s a whole spectrum of different goals that change with time, and that makes life beautiful. Every our action, behavior is dictated by our current most important values. At one point in our life all we want is solitude; at another-we want our achievements to be acknowledged, admired; or sometimes all we want is just to love and be loved. It always changes and never stops.
The only thing remaining constant is our wish to be happy. That happens when we’re feeding our inner dragons - our constantly changing values. It seems like as soon as one is full and satisfied-there appears another one! And that’s exactly how it works. At any point in time we have one main current value, stronger than the others, less important ones.
But here’s the trick: most of the time we don’t realize what it is, but we always make sure that we achieve it 100%! As a result we satisfy those needs through actions that lead to consequences that are far from positive and constructive. The dragon is too big and hungry to go for a small prey.
This “mindless hunting” leads to binge eating/watching tv shows, smoking and many other habits rightfully considered bad. Your need appears satisfied only for a hot minute, taking away all the happiness from feeding it once it’s gone.
The parts of you that made sure that you met your need are quite victorious though! But of course! They did succeed, didn’t they? Even though sometimes you wish they didn’t.
You don’t need much to stop this program from working: just be aware of it! Find out what value stands behind your actions, make your other needs work on its satisfaction. And then your life will make a huge leap forward. Then you’ll grow bigger than you can imagine. Then you’ll develop the understanding, that happiness is not a destination. It’s a path.
So now answer yourself honestly: “What do I truly want by doing what I’m doing now? Do I want to make more money? Do I want recognition, freedom, pleasure? Or maybe it’s authority, power? Love? Or harmony?” What do you actually want when you argue with your husband, kid, mom? What do you actually want when you slack at your job? What are you craving biting into a third slice of pizza and drowning it in cherry coke watching your favorite show? Insert here the most destructive behavior you currently have in your opinion. Most likely by doing so you’re actually craving something very important and positive for you. It’s just that you don’t know how to give it to yourself in other ways.
Figure out your motives and don’t put your needs satisfaction on autopilot. Most likely those parts of you that volunteer to do that are anti-qualified for the job! Find and assign the parts that will serve you well. By doing so you’ll get to choose the way to reach your inner goals, and as a result you’ll be in full control of the outcome!
So..which of your dragons you’re going to feed first?