I write a lot about about emotional hygiene and self-control for a reason. And the reason is simple: there are so many people living their lives the way their uncontrollable emotions dictate them. I want them to hear me and stop living in the hell they built for themselves.
So many people don’t even notice how much their negative emotions affect what happens in their lives. Without even realizing it, we communicate with our subconscious through emotions (oftentimes negative ones), and then act surprised by the consequences. Emotions like anger, fear, sadness and contempt can be our guides if treated correctly, but more often they turn into our executioners because we don’t know how to use them.
The truth is - there are no bad emotions. There are inappropriate ones and the ones that have undesirable consequences, that’s it. Even calmness and joy can be harmful if used at the wrong time and at the wrong place. However we’re not going to talk about those cases right now, because people suffering from uncontrollable joy are pretty rare occasions to say the least. As opposed to those absorbed by sadness or anger.
What if life itself brings negativity?
First of all - practice self-control and work on your own reactions. Chose the emotion that will bring you the best outcome possible in this particular situation. Sometimes it can be anger, sometimes-calmness, sometimes joy or surprise. Learn how to experience not the easiest emotion, but the one that will bring you the best result.
Our emotions are our tools meant to serve us and our goals. Not vice versa!!
So if your life ship is being thrown around like a grain of sand, make sure that the captain remains still. Just imagine what happens if the whole crew starts panicking and randomly running around cursing all the higher powers when a storm hits. Will the ship go far? It’ll go deep if anything. Deep down to the very bottom of the ocean.
Same with us: when life gets stormy, getting angry and sad only makes things worse. What helps is calming down and focusing on solving the problem. And unfortunately you can’t do it if you don’t have the remote control to your own emotions or if you haven’t read the instruction on how to use it.
And remember: we all mastered finding excuses for not controlling our emotions and reactions when life gets hard. Only it doesn’t make things any better. The Universe doesn’t care how justified your negativity is. The Universe in this sense is impartial like a mirror: it reflects what it sees.
So let’s give it something beautiful to reflect, shall we?