I don’t think anyone doubts that our mind controls our life. And our mind, in its turn, is ruled by words. Every day we make decisions based on what we tell ourselves. And depending on what it is exactly, we predetermine the results we’re going to get in all kinds of spheres of life, because words lay the foundation of the way we see the world, in other words, of our beliefs.
Beliefs are our strategies, life rules. All our behaviors come from our beliefs.
Those are formed when we are kids (for the most part before the age of 7) by our environment- people who are important for us, media etc. Barely ever we consciously participate in this process. Most of the times we just freely adopt the beliefs that come from the outer world.
How does it work? Very simple and it happens quick. Our brain is so easy to convince. Once you hear some statement repeated 1-2-5 times, let’s say “Kids are our everything, there’s no life without kids!” - your mind had already found a couple examples proving that, before you even had a chance to agree or disagree to what was said. But of course! We always see only those things, we focus our attention on. Can we benefit from that or not - is a subject of a different discussion.
It’s also important to remember that beliefs are always applied to a particular context, life aspect. Applied to one - the belief can be useful, applied to another - it turns into a self-limitation.
Limiting beliefs create strong non-negotiable cause and effect chains in our mind, limiting our potential and thus taking away our freedom of choice.
For instance, for a 5-year-old girl having a belief “Strangers can be dangerous, it’s best to stay away from people I don’t know” is great! But if a grown up woman has the same way of thinking (and there are oh so many women holding onto the childhood beliefs that are long overdue to let go of) - she’s risking to end up very lonely for a very long time.
Limiting beliefs are basically partisans quietly undermining one activity after another somewhere deep in your head. They got in there at the moment your mind couldn’t defend itself, it found a couple of facts confirming those beliefs, and voilà. Now that information started affecting your behavior, and as a result, your life.
And that’s the root of the problem. Having good intentions or not, people constantly declare and proclaim something. Their phrases said in a confident and a non-arguable tone have pretty much a magic effect on our brain it rarely can resist. That is until it realizes that it can control it.
To realize how harmful your beliefs are, just look at the life aspect, results in which you’re not happy with. Monitor which life aspects you feel stuck in and bring up to the surface all your beliefs about those aspects. Make a point and write down all the mental blocks that could get in your way in those aspects. Don’t get discouraged if you see way more aspects on that list that you were expecting to.
It can be anything: your appearance, health, relationships, money, creativity. If any of those feel just so-so, that’s exactly where those partisans are operating. Your job is to identify them and replace with the useful and effective ones.
Remember:it’s your beliefs that determine how successful you’re going to be in any sphere of your life.
That’s why you should ALWAYS analyze ALL the statements about “how it all works” and “as a matter of fact” that you hear from others. Ask yourself:”Do I want to agree with this statement? Do I want to base my decisions on it? Am I winning or losing by letting it stay in my head?”. If not - get rid of it immediately, look for the opposite examples. It’s important to be particular about that, this is your life and only you are to decide what beliefs you live it with.