People who don’t achieve their goals do not exist. We always reach 100% of our inner goals. How? Why even a sick, poor and lonely person succeeded in achieving their inner goals my eyes? Let me explain.
We all consist of an individual set of sub personalities that play their roles in different spheres of our lives. Some of them were formed during the childhood by particular events followed by a reaction and then repeated. For instance when you were 5 or 6 years old something happened, a close adult expressed a reaction that repeated multiple times and eventually turned into a strong imprint for you.
Let’s say a person with an “I’m a loser” mindset. Most likely when he or she was a kid and they failed at something, their parent or a teacher pointed that out. If that only happened once and wasn’t traumatizing for a child, it could’ve easily slipped their mind and not formed any destructive cognitive patterns.
But if the experience was painful accompanied by guilt, shame and name calling AND happened on a regular basis, then most likely it became a part of their “Me-concept”.
Although those can form at any point in our life. When we hear someone expressing their opinion about us over and over again (regarding the same context), we start looking for evidence to that, turning things that had been said into powerful cognitive programs.
What’s interesting is that we’ll find evidence for ANY program, because or attention will be focused on searching one. When a person has a powerful cognitive program, they will always find evidence for it in the external world! Their mind will always highlight the information that goes along with their program. And you will always make decisions that will lead you to confirm that the program is true and correct.
It can be any kind of program. What you think about your attractiveness, mental abilities, successfulness and popularity often defines the results you get in your life. Cognitive models like “I’m beautiful”, “I’m healthy” or “I’m lucky” are effective helpful mental programs.
Our identity consists of so many parts. Depending on a context it can be “I’m a student”, “I’m a lover”, “I’m a competitor”, etc. And if we label those parts as smart, beautiful, successful, lucky and healthy, we get one result. But if it’s more like stupid, ugly, loser, weak and lazy-the result we get are completely different. Just imagine what’s gonna happen to a company who’s new CEO has that kind of destructive way of seeing themselves.
So if you notice such labels like “I’m a loser”, “I’m ugly” or “I’m stupid” appearing in your head, know that they will always try and find evidence in the external world. Even if you resist and hate the consequences, the program will victoriously wave its hand at you.
Here's what you should do:
The recipe is simple.
Admit that your destructive model is subjective and not real. All the evidence supporting your shortcomings were thoroughly picked by your mind even though to every one of those there are dozens of evidence of the opposite!
Find a constructive substitute and look for all the confirmation of its validity in your own actions and the feedback from the world.
So..who’s ready to wave their destructive models goodbye?